If love is a battlefield, then dating is a minefield. If you say or do the wrong thing on a first date (or in this case, before a first date), everything can blow up in your face. The first date is a big hurdle you have to jump over — those first impressions are the difference between finding a potential partner and never seeing them again. If things don’t go well on the date, you’ve lost time, money, and also the chance to get to potentially know a pretty awesome person.
Follow these tips to up your chances of getting that highly-coveted second date. You should still pay close attention to how you act on the date itself, but they’ll stop you from sinking your own ship before you’ve gotten the chance to sail.
1. Do not Google your date
Sounds like a great idea at first, right? You might tell yourself you just want to make sure your date is not a weirdo or that he or she doesn’t have a rap sheet, but in reality, you’re probably doing this just to satisfy your curiosity. Let’s say you do search their name and you find a few interesting tidbits.
You found some very specific details about this person, and you take note of this. Then, you go on the date and mistakenly bring this very specific thing up. Oops — you’re caught. You Googled, and your date knows it. This will quickly turn the date to one that’s slightly creepy and very awkward.
2. Do not look at your date’s LinkedIn profile
If you look up someone’s LinkedIn profile before going on a date with that person, he or she will know that you did this, because LinkedIn will notify your date that you looked. Wait until you actually go out on the date to find out career details.
3. Do not ask someone out on a day or brunch date
We’re not saying that this in and of itself will make the date bomb, but going on a day date sounds like one of the least romantic approaches to a first date. There is nothing wrong with going for brunch (which is always awesome) or going for a friendly coffee, but if this is someone you’re really romantically interested in, keep the vibe going with an evening date. You don’t want to give off the wrong idea when it comes to a day date — mostly one that shows you don’t care, or worse, that you’re trying to double-book your dates.
4. Spend too much
This one will just leave your bank account sad. Overly-expensive first dates can be a turn-off for some, as they may become anxious that you will “expect something” at the end of the night for all the money you’ve spent. It’s just way too much pressure on both ends. Even if she is not turned off by your overspending, it can end up being counterproductive in another way. Some women are looking for men to foot the bill. You want someone to like or love you for you, not what you can monetarily give them.
5. Plan for dinner and a movie
Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with dinner and movie. It’s just that it’s not very unique and will remind that person of past dates. Most importantly, though, is that both parts are just bad for first dates: Dinners can be awkward to begin with, and movies provide almost no opportunity to get to know each other. Opt instead to go somewhere fun and interactive, like a bowling alley or comedy club. In those atmospheres, you can talk, touch, and have fun.
6. Overdress or underdress
This is simple — if you’re going on a nicer date, don’t underdress and wear a T-shirt and jeans, and if you’re going bowling or someplace casual, don’t overdress and wear a suit and a tie (unless you’re coming from work and don’t have time to change). Your best option is casual, cool, and not looking like you’re trying too hard. A nice pair of jeans, a dark shirt, and a nice leather jacket is perfect. You want to look modest, and you don’t want to come across like you’re trying too hard.
7. Have expectations
Dating is hard. You don’t know if you two will be compatible or if the date will go well. Go into the date with an open mind, and expect the unexpected. As in, don’t have any expectations of where the night will go. You’ll enjoy your first dates much more — also, why put that kind of pressure on yourself?
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